Archives for category: Stress

Make Yourself Proud January 1 2012

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First off, between Christmas, having a family member in the hospital, and getting a cold, I’ve neglected the blog. I’m not sorry – my time was better spent at the hospital, spending time celebrating, or recuperating, I just wanted to say I haven’t forgotten about my readers!

I’m honestly pretty happy 2012 is over and done. Lots of sad, tough things happened. It seemed like as soon as one thing got better, something else happened. Life seems to like throwing things at me like that.

I’m hoping that 2013 is going to be better than 2012. Looking back over 2012 I’ve made some pretty awesome accomplishments. I didn’t back down when things were tough. I was able to handle a lot of crap that I didn’t think I could. I made good decisions when it counted. I was able to make it out on the other side.

In 2013 I’m going to do more of the same. I want to surprise myself with my strength, my ability to deal with whatever comes my way. I think I’m able to appreciate more the time I have with the people that I love and care about. The less limits I put on myself, the more I’m able to achieve.

So looking forward to 2013, I want to do more than I did last year. I think that sums it up.

I meant to publish this post on Wednesday, but apparently I didn’t, and I was too busy celebrating to realize it. So here it is, a couple days late. Enjoy!

Birthday November 14 2012

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I turn 30 today. I’ve been around for 3 decades. That’s kind of terrifying in so many ways. I never really thought I’d make it to adulthood, and it seems that I’ve arrived. Weird.

The last year has been pretty crazy.

A year ago, November 2011 I started dating my ex. He was the first guy I actually let in to know the real me. It was definitely terrifying at first, but totally worth it. I still think he’s a pretty awesome guy. He’s going to make someone very happy, and she’ll be very lucky to have him.

Yoga Mat Birthday November 14 2012

In January I took my very first yoga class. I was absolutely terrified, but I did it anyways, and ended up really liking it.

In March a family member got really sick, very fast. Almost dying sick, and we found out they had cancer. The month that they were in the hospital was crazy stressful, but at the same time, when they were allowed to come back home, it was such a relief. It makes you appreciate every day that you have with the people that you love.

Soccer Cropped Tourney June 2012

In April I started playing soccer. It was the first time I’d ever played. I was absolutely terrified, but in the end, I’m so glad I started. I had so much fun, and met some really amazing people.

In July I started dating my boyfriend. He’s kind of awesome if I do say so myself. We’ve only been together for four months, but at the same time it feels like we’ve spent so much time together already. I’m pretty glad I met him.

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In July we had to put down our dog, Bailey. I know I’ve mentioned him on the blog a couple times, and seriously, we loved him like crazy, even if he did cause trouble once in awhile a lot. The whole family was able to say goodbye – I was able to leave work early and my brother went into work late. It was so hard. Really hard, but we were able to spend an amazing 15 years with him that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Blind Bay Vacation August 2012 (1)

I went on vacation in August for the first time in years. I spent mornings on the dock by myself, and the rest of the days with some of my favourite people. Possibly the most relaxing vacation I’ve ever been on.

It’s been a pretty crazy year. There’s been some fun stuff and some losses, successes and failures. I guess you never know what’s going to happen.

Sunday night I had my first yoga class in a long time – 7 months. I can’t believe it’s been that long.

Watermarked Yoga Mat September 22 2012

It was great to be doing it again and I like the teacher, but at the same time it was a pretty tough class. I hope they’re not all going to be like that.

One of the reasons I think it was so hard for me was that I was pretty exhausted. I had played floor hockey earlier in the day for an hour and a half. I knew I should have left earlier, but I was having too much fun.

The other reason why it was so tough was how tight and tense I am. I’ve had a lot of stressful things happen since my last yoga class. I broke up with a boyfriend and my dad has been having some serious health issues, among other things. Apparently a lot of that stress went straight to my back and shoulders.

As I was laying in shavasana at the end of class and trying to relax, all I could feel was how tense my back and shoulders were. My legs and arms felt amazing, but the spots where I hold stress just weren’t relaxing, they were still really tight.

I know I’m not going to be able to get rid of all that tension right away – it took months for it to get there, but at least I now know that I have to work on it. I didn’t think it was that bad before.

Let me start off by saying that I had taken a couple photos with my phone while I was on my walk. But cause I’m awesome, I had my finger over part of the lens in all of them. That’s what I get for trying to use my phone and not being able to see it very well cause of the sun. So long story short, there’s no photo for this post.

I had some drama with a friend today. It’s been brewing for awhile, and today it finally happened. I was frustrated and upset with her.

When I got home from work though I had two choices: do something constructive or eat too much of something that I shouldn’t be eating in the first place. Lucky for me, I made a good choice.

Even though it was really windy this afternoon, I decided to go for a walk. On the drive over there were leaves all over the place, and there were lots of branches in the road. When I say it was windy, I mean it was REALLY windy.

I enjoyed myself though, despite the fact that I was almost blown away. Even though I had my hair in a pony tail with bobby pins, it was still everywhere when I got back to the house.

While I was out there a funny thing happened. The more I walked, the better I felt. By the time I got back to the car 40 minutes later, I was actually feeling pretty good.

Lesson learned: workout (or go for a walk) when stressed instead of eating. I felt better without the guilt of eating something bad for me.

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I still haven’t gotten back on the working out bandwagon. I’m still not sleeping very well (hello stress), so right now getting up at 5:30 am after only 2 or 3 hours of sleep isn’t an option. I’ve been trying to sneak in afternoon walks, but that’s only happened a couple times. It’s so hard for me to get my workouts in if they don’t happen first thing in the morning. I knew there was a reason I do my workouts first – that way stuff doesn’t get in the way.

But that doesn’t mean things have been a total fail. I haven’t gained any weight. Sure, I haven’t lost either, but I’ve maintained. That says a lot, cause usually when I’m stressed I eat. But I’ve managed to avoid doing that this time. I’m feeling pretty good about that.

Things should hopefully be back to normal around here in the next couple weeks – less stress, less hospital time, and getting back to everyday life. When that happens I’ll get right back to working out and losing weight.

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I’m really struggling with getting my workouts in so far this week. It’s tough. I have some pretty major family stuff going on right now which means I’m spending lots of time at the hospital. Lack of sleep plus no routine plus major stress makes it hard to get up at 5:30 to workout.

But I have a great routine laid out for me, so I know exactly what to do. I don’t even have to think about it. I’m going to try to get my  workouts in. That’s all I can do. I know working out will make me feel better. It’ll be a good stress reliever and a great way to start my day.

I’ve been far from perfect this week, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of my week has to fall apart too. I can still do this.

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The last couple days have been hard. Really really tough. It would have been to easy and understandable for me to tell myself that I can take a day, a couple days, the week off when it comes to working out, I could have stayed in bed and gotten the much needed sleep that I didn’t get the night before instead of getting up at 5:30 am to work out. I could have made a million excuses for myself.

But I didn’t slack off. I got up when my alarm went off, I got dressed and headed downstairs to work out. I worked hard. I cried (haha, not about how hard the workout was, but about the stuff that’s going on right now). I finished it and I felt amazing. Despite having a million reasons why I could skip one, two, or five workouts, I did them anyways.

I think part of the reason why I’ve been sticking to it the last couple days is because of the boot camp. I want to keep up with everyone else doing it. I don’t want to fall behind. I know everyone else will be working out today, so I want to make sure that I get mine in too.

You know what? If I can make sure I’m consistent with my workouts now, in the middle of going through all the crap I’m dealing with, then I can do it through anything. Suddenly just being tired in the morning isn’t a good enough excuse. Not “feeling” like it won’t get me out of a run. If I can commit to working out now, then I can do it in the face of just about anything.

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For the last week or so the internet at the house has been hit or miss. It’ll work for five minutes then disconnect for half an hour. It made me crazy that as soon as I started to do something it would stop working. So so frustrating.

Let’s just say that you have no idea how often you use the internet to talk to friends, check the weather, buy stuff, or read email til it’s not there anymore.

Luckily my brother went with me yesterday to get a new router (cause he was the brains behind the “fix internet” mission cause I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to computers), and he got it working again. Yay!

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The last week has been pretty stressful for me too. There were family members with medical stuff going on, bad news from friends, just lots of tough stuff. There were definitely tears. Lots and lots of tears. But you know what? That’s okay. Tears are perfectly fine. Crying doesn’t make me weak. It makes me strong.

I’m definitely not one to let myself depend on others when I’m struggling. It’s hard to let go and admit that I can’t do it by myself. But at some point I have to learn to do it.